"Your mom is like a fine wine; poured down my chest and licked off."

"Your mom is like a fine wine; poured down my chest and licked off."

"I’m trained in your mom’s Kung Fu."

"I’m trained in your mom’s Kung Fu."

"These enchiladas are delicious! Too hot to shovel into my mouth!"

"Your mom is too hot to shovel into my mouth."

"These enchiladas are delicious! Too hot to shovel into my mouth!"

"Your mom is too hot to shovel into my mouth."

Your mom’s not backed by physics.

Your mom’s not backed by physics.

2 notes

Your mom can put ANYTHING everywhere.

Your mom can put ANYTHING everywhere.

2 notes

Submit a Mom of the Month!

Submit a pic of your mom, or any mom who looks particularly motherly! :P"When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway."

— Erma Bombeck

Submit a Mom of the Month!

Submit a pic of your mom, or any mom who looks particularly motherly! :P

"When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway."

— Erma Bombeck

Your mom is so promiscuous, your family tree is recursive.

Your mom is so promiscuous, your family tree is recursive.

4 notes

"Hey, go to the gates of hell."

"I saw your mom at the gates of hell."

"Oh, no. You didn’t. Not my mom. She wouldn’t be caught dead there."

"Hey, go to the gates of hell."

"I saw your mom at the gates of hell."

"Oh, no. You didn’t. Not my mom. She wouldn’t be caught dead there."

10 notes